Stop Shoulding On Yourself!

Let's all say this together: "I WILL NEVER "SHOULD'' ON ANYONE AGAIN!"

A basic definition for those of you who are unfamiliar with "should-ing": Telling someone, "You SHOULD change! You SHOULD try harder! You SHOULD, you SHOULD, you SHOULD..." Well, you get the idea.

I refuse to be a preacher who "shoulds" all over people. There are already enough "shoulds" in the world. You don't need this at church, too. Grace extends to everyone...

And while you are at it: STOP SHOULDING ON YOURSELF! That is just not helpful!

When you read a verse like this:

Matthew 22: 37-41 Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

Don't say to yourself: "I should love God more and my neighbor more!" Don't should on yourself! You know you are not living up to this law. You don't even like your neighbor, let alone love him!

Instead, read the scriptures in light of His grace!

1 John 4:19 We love Him because He first loved us. (NKJV)

We will only love Him to the extent that we understand His love for us.  So instead of focusing on your lack of love, focus on His love for you! Focus on the good things He has done lately in your life...And once you grasp His love for you, you'll naturally love others as naturally as you love yourself.

Grace doesn't stop at the point of your salvation. By grace you are saved. But also by grace you live! Jesus came so all our shoulding could stop! What great grace for ourselves and everyone we know!

Excerpt taken from the book Grace On Tap by Eric Dykstra http://amzn.com/B00EYMRYDQ

Get wrecked! Go buy it today!

Grace on Tap week 1 "Born again, again"

One of the reasons I was drawn to do a series from the book Grace On Tap was how similar Eric Dykstra's story of finding Grace was to my own. (The other reason is my huge respect and admiration for Eric who is my mentor and friend!)  It was incredible how Eric put words to my experience I had this past Spring--I was "born again" again! God's grace transformed my already transformed life. I don't' know how He did it, but God made my life brand new AGAIN just by opening up my eyes to what He had already laid out so clearly in the Bible, but somehow I'd missed it.  I'd like to share that excerpt from the book. (And if you just can't get enough, there's the link at the bottom to buy the book on Amazon.) Enjoy!  --Nate

Many people believe there are two "works of grace" in a person's life. One, when they "get saved". Two, when they are "baptized" in the Spirit and they speak in tongues or get fresh revelation of who God is. I don't know if that is true or not, But is is true for me. 

I have been "born again" twice.

I asked Jesus into my life at the age of seventeen. I was in New York state at a Bible camp. I got down on my knees at a campfire and asked Jesus Christ to forgive my sins and lead my life. And He did! He moved into my life, forgave me of my past, and began to transform me. My friends began asking me why I was so different. I even went off to a Bible college to enter a life of full-time ministry. I was a changed man.

But then a strange thing happened: My well-intentioned teachers, pastors, and churches taught me (unintentionally) that after you come to Jesus for forgiveness, you must prove you really love Jesus by being obedient to Him!

Or, said another way:

We get righteousness at the cross, but we stay righteous by working for it.

So, I began to work really hard at obeying Jesus. I read my Bible every day. I memorized Scripture. I prayed. I served in my church. I witnessed to my friends. I worked hard at fighting temptation. I tried to be a "man of holiness". I started a church. I preached the gospel. I led people to Jesus. I tithed. I gave sacrificially. I...

Do you see all the I's in that paragraph? I was trying to achieve my own righteousness. I was going to be a sold-out Christian. Except it never worked, and I always felt like a failure. No matter how much I did, I felt like it was never enough. I never served enough, never gave enough, preached enough, loved enough, or prayed enough. I never felt righteous, no matter how hard I tried. And the more I went to church or read the Bible, the more I just felt like a failure, because I could never live up to the standard of perfection in the Bible.

That is, until Jesus met me with a second work of grace. One day while on a vacation from ministry, I stumbled across 2 Corinthians 5:21.

The more I read this verse and studied it's implications, the more it messed me up. The more it messed me up, the more I would cry and shake and tremble before God. I spent an entire month immersed in the study of this verse. At the end of one month, I was a totally different human being. I knew I measured up. I knew I wasn't a failure. I knew I was strong enough. Had faith enough. I was a totally different person. Jesus had met me; He had done a second work of grace in me. My church said I was different. My staff said I was different. My wife and kids said I was different.

The grace of God had hit me, and I was born again. Again.

Here is the verse that messed me up forever:

2 Corinthians 5:21  God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Read more in the book Grace On Tap by Eric Dykstra http://amzn.com/B00EYMRYDQ

A love that don't Quit!

My son was talking to me the other day about cartoons on and on and on, bla, bla, bla... He was very excited--I have to admit: I wasn't.  I tried my best to seem interested but I found myself losing focus, my mind wandering to my work--which he had interrupted me from--and then I was snapped back to reality when I realized my child's excitement had now changed to embarrassment...disappointment... and he was walking away because he realized I wasn't listening.

In fact, I can remember when I realized my parents did this to me. They tried very hard to mask their indifference at times, just as I occasionally have to try to mask mine, but there's a time in the day when the grown-ups are apparently too exhausted to fake it 'til you make it and the observant eye of a kid is no longer fooled.  I apologized to my son, he means the world to me! But I'm not perfect and I mess up sometimes!

Did your parents (no matter how well-meaning) ever do that to you? Or did your friends, your role-model, your coach...ever make you feel unimportant?  

Did God ever make you feel unimportant?

I know, I know: God loves me...but let's be honest, did you ever think: my life isn't turning out like I thought it would...God, don't you love me? My finances are struggling...God, don't you love me? Why isn't this decision working out...God, don't you love me?

Life happens...and sometimes we feel ignored, looked over, unimportant, but the truth is that God's love is UNCONDITIONAL! Most of us can't even fathom a love that's unconditional! When something bad happens, God's unconditional love promises He'll never leave! God's unconditional love ensures that He's going to use everything in this life, good or bad, to make us stronger!  God uses what was meant to harm us to catapult us further into the good plans he has for us.  It's like a bow and arrow: the arrow has to be drawn back before it flies forward! Maybe something happened in life to set you back, but God's unconditional love is using that to set you up for victory!

Our parents, friends, role-models all did their best, but they're not perfect. They didn't mean to, but sometimes they messed up. God isn't human, He's perfect, and He always loves you and He's always with you! He always works everything out for your good! He wants to heal every hurt, astronomical or ridiculously small, with His unconditional love!

"Just as I swore in the time of Noah that I would never again let a flood cover the earth, so now I swear that I will never again be angry and punish you.  For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain.  My covenant of blessing will never be broken,“ says the Lord , who has mercy on you. --Isaiah 54:9-10

Don't Judge others, Just because you sin differently!

Don't judge me! That statement, while playful and funny, gets me internally on edge when I stop and think about it.  As a Christian, I've been intimately involved with judgement and it's not good on the passing or receiving end! It's the least Christ-like part of my attempt at being Christ-like. I'm sure our highly opinionated viewpoints are the root of the saying "I'd be a Christian if it weren't for...Christians"!

My fellow Christians and I have turned a relationship with Jesus into a list of do's and don'ts. We accept and reject people depending on their adherence to these rules, and all the different groups of Christians have a different set of rules! However, the Bible has it's own rule about this: "judge not lest ye be judged" (that's right: I'm bustin out the King James!) but we don't call it judgement, we call its accountability. And this "accountability" runs rampant. Here's how it works: I get to tell anyone, anywhere, on any occasion that "you're doing it wrong".  Mmmm, warm fuzzies! But let's admit it: we usually don't even have the guts to say it, we just give anyone with a differing opinion the ole stink-eye (cuz that's what Jesus would do?).

I don't think that's accountability. Accountability comes from someone who believes in you and wants to see you succeed, someone who's actually qualified to speak direction and wisdom into your life, not someone who just wants to point out your flaws. What we Christians are doing is just plain judgement! And here's the kicker: it's quite often based on opinions! We usually can't even back up our "accountability" with scripture!  We criticize people just because they're not doing it our way!

God gave Christians the joy of telling the world what He's doing--instead we're busy telling each other what we should or shouldn't be doing!

Dear friends, if you've been harshly judged (or even worse, wrongly judged) please know this isn't how God works! On behalf of myself and my fellow Christians, I apologize! I apologize for misrepresenting the God of the Universe who so freely loves and adores you, even your flaws!  His acceptance never ended when you made certain decisions!  His willingness to help didn't stop just because you did something that raised eyebrows! He doesn't squash big thinking or shut down big dreams--God isn't jealous of your potential: He put it in you! God's judgement actually doesn't even happen until the end of your life, He designed your life to be a work in progress! God doesn't judge the outward He judges the heart! And unlike humans, God's judgement is perfect: He takes your circumstances, strengths, weaknesses, knowledge...everything...into consideration!  Not one of us can do that!  

Now shake off the critical voice that judgement installed inside your head. Let go of the critique of yourself and go back to seeing the potential God put in you. Forgive those who judged you since they have surely felt the sting of judgement as well. Resist the urge to judge them right back and instead see the favor that God has already given you and live your life expecting everything good God has planned for you! And remember: you are responsible for your own happiness...you are only responsible for you!

James 5:7-9 You see farmers do this all the time, waiting for their valuable crops to mature, patiently letting the rain do its slow but sure work. 8 Be patient like that. Stay steady and strong. The Master could arrive at any time. 9 Friends, don't complain about each other. A far greater complaint could be lodged against you, you know. The Judge is standing just around the corner. 

Expect more from GOD!

I spoke on signs & wonders this weekend.  They're a polarizing topic with no middle ground.  Some think that's what church should be about--others believe God phased that part of His job out.  You know, our society laughs at signs & wonders as if it's impossible to believe that God would have special powers.  Why would it be so ridiculous for God to do something we can't--isn't that what being God is about in the crudest sense: not being human?!  I mean, don't you think that the God of the universe would be able to rig up something pretty spectacular? Don't you think he could probably throw down some mind blowing stuff that's a little better than what Criss Angel or Penn & Teller are doing? Why do we think we should be able to figure Him out? If He's just like you and me then how'd we get here? How are there mountains and rainbows and a perfect positioning of the Earth's tilt to the Sun?  I can't do that!  And I have four kids but I'm mystified when it comes to actually making a human...after conception that is ;)

Another inaccurate belief about signs & wonders is that they're reserved for the spiritually elite, but from reading the Bible I'd say they're for anybody.  Take Moses and the parting of the Red Sea and all the other miracles God performed for the Israelites leaving Egypt: they weren't spiritual giants, without adult supervision they were off making a golden calf!  And when Jesus fed five thousand people with 5 loaves and 2 fish, most of them rejected him and his teachings two days later!

  

Signs & wonders can be done wrong: I've seen them elevated above Jesus...I've seen people run after them and neglect their neighbor in need...I've seen Christians run from conference to conference like junkies, abandoning family and responsibilities for that spiritual high.  These all left a bad taste in my mouth, but I'll never doubt that there's a place for signs & wonders.  God has mind-blowing power and He still uses it!  I've got my own amazing stories about how God came through for me with the supernatural and I would want the same for you, my friend!  I would never profess to tell you exactly how God works, so I won't try to tell you how He doesn't work, either.  Let's decide to be ok with a little mystery surrounding God.  Let's make peace with the unknown factors of how Jesus works. Let's not limit such an amazing Force that's on our side!  Maybe you don't believe in miracles, but I'll bet you wouldn't turn one down the next time you're in a pickle!

Quit Trying

I tried and tried to do well--but my well ran dry.

I tried harder, but it wasn't good enough.  I tried to be stronger, but my strength ran out.  I tried to act right, but my actions didn't measure up.

I kept coming up short, feeling the weight of my inadequacies, feeling the pain of messing up over and over.

Some days can seem like an uphill fight.  We do something stupid and then we're ashamed.  We know we want to do better.  

We want to do well with our lives. And then we come to the realization that we can try to do well--but our well runs dry.

So quit trying! 

That's right, quit trying! You're no match for sin!  In yourself, there’s nothing you can do to defeat it!  It’s a hopeless cause and we're just silly to think we can fight it on our own strength!

Remember when you gave your life to Jesus and you prayed something like 

"I can't do it on my own, Jesus, I give you my life!" and you were relieved?!  And you suddenly had hope!  And you were free to dream again!  

Friends, let's all get to that realization every day!  You knew when you hit rock bottom that you needed help--so don't walk away from this life-changing experience and think that you can now do it on your own!  Surrender again! 

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.  For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. 

Ephesians 2: 8-10

The REAL God

The author John records a curious recollection of when Jesus spit in the dirt, put that mixture into a blind man's eye, the blind man washed it out and then had perfect sight.  It's a very strange occurrence that got me thinking: just maybe God isn't who we think He is. It makes me think that God isn't afraid to get dirty...God's not some prude...God isn't against the strange and unusual... and He's not just about obeying a bunch of rules.  You know, God's the One who created sex...and Jesus was the one who turned water into wine--these are not exactly the works of the staunchy-crabby-narrow-minded-jerk that religion can paint Him out to be! And He's not like a fake-plastic kid's show host from the 1960's, either, complete with perma-smile and a make-believe world!  He knows every one of us inside and out and we aren't shocking or appalling or even surprising to Him--He knows who we are, He knows our most secret flaws and He loves us completely!

And how does putting spit mixed with dirt into a blind eye logically equal 20/20 vision?!  Now that sounds like the logic of someone who's had a little too much wine!  But actually, it just goes to show that we don't always have to understand what God's up to! God was never required to run all his plans by you or me!  I hope there's stuff out there that we don't understand --I mean, if He's God and He's so smart, then there's probably some stuff that He's gonna do that will go right over my head...some stuff that will put my brain in an all-out tantrum because I don't get it, I'll never get it, I wasn't meant to get it, it's whole purpose is to show me that (surprise!) God IS in charge...and I'm not!  All we ever need to know is that HE'S GOOD!  HE LOVES US!  HE HAS GOOD PLANS FOR US!

Then there's the other tricky thing: His good plans will probably happen differently than you or I imagined.  I mean, that blind guy wanted his breakthrough, he wanted to see, but what do you suppose he was thinking when he heard some guy spit on the ground and then scoop it up?!  We want breakthrough? Are we ready for it to look a little different than we thought it would look?  Are we ready for our breakthrough to arrive with a little dirt or a little spit mixed in?  Are we ready for God to be a little unconventional, a little unusual, maybe even a little uncomfortable?  

I don't think I just figured God out--the more I know the more I realize I don't know--but I do know He's more accepting and loving than I will ever comprehend and I am running with everything inside of me toward this authentic, genuine and REAL God!