Measuring Up

I have a lesbian friend. Let's call her Ellen. Ellen came out in recent years, but I knew her before she switched sides since we hung out in the same crowd. The same church crowd, I should say. Now one of our mutual church friends treats Ellen like she doesn't measure up. It would appear that Ellen's getting the cold shoulder due to her decision, but I don't think that's the case: I'm a pastor and I don't measure up to this particular "church friend".  I just think some people's special gift is the ability to find a reason that we don't measure up.

Funny thing is, I can think of a handful of religious people I'm not holy enough for.

Have you ever been around someone who made you feel like you didn't measure up? Maybe you didn't look cool enough, maybe you didn't have enough money, or maybe you also know a church friend who makes you feel like you aren't holy enough.

Funny thing is, there's a handful of religious people that Jesus wasn't holy enough for.

The Bible records an incident when Jesus was invited to dinner at a religious person's house. The town harlotte found out about Jesus' dinner plans and crashed the party, weeping at Jesus' feet and pouring perfume on Him. When the religious person who had invited Jesus saw this, he said to himself, "If this man was the prophet I thought he was, he would have known what kind of woman this is who is falling all over him." This is just one of the many times when Jesus didn't see eye-to-eye with the religious crowd of His day. It's a good read in Luke 7.

There's nothing new under the sun: religious people are still acting like they've got the inside scoop, the secret code to get to the bonus level and save the princess while the rest of us poor schmucks can't seem to get out of level 1 without getting hit by Bowser's fire balls (Super Mario Bro.s is RAD!).

Why do we look at our lives through the eyes of the most critical person we know? Why, for some of us, do we think that person is Jesus?

My friends, this isn't the truth! No! Jesus ate dinner with prostitutes and hung out with corrupt businessmen. He wasn't too good for anyone! He loved those thrown out by society and saved the verbal spankings for those who thought they were all that and a bag of chips! Jesus knows what it's like to be rejected and looked over. He knows how it feels to be abandoned and betrayed. He's experienced the pain of being misunderstood.  Jesus isn't scrutinizing you Joan Rivers-style like you're on Fashion Police (yes, I've watched Fashion Police--judge not!). He accepts you completely! He doesn't do the I'd-accept-you-if-only-you'd-quit-eating-your-boogers kind of acceptance...He accepts you UNCONDITIONALLY! (But for health reasons and self-dignity, it should probably stop.)

So there's this social rule that says leave religion and politics out of dinner conversations. I'd disagree. I'd say leave religion out of EVERY conversation! It does more harm than good!

Don't let anyone make you feel like you don't measure up. You may not "measure up" to some self-appointed "experts" (experts at what? Making others feel inferior?) but you measure up to the God of the Universe! And you didn't even have to do a thing for His approval! He loves you because you're YOU! He gave you life because He wanted you on this planet! He made you unlike anyone else, and put you right where you're at right now so you can impact your world in a very YOU way! God displays HIMSELF through you in such a unique way that's never been done before and will never be done again! You are His work of art!

God is the standard, and if He said you measure up then only a fool would disagree.  Maybe you know some fools, but don't YOU be that fool! Accept yourself, faults and all! In Jesus' eyes, you measure up!

Ps 139:14-24

14 I thank you, High God — you're breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration — what a creation! 

15 You know me inside and out,

you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 

16 Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

before I'd even lived one day. 

17 Your thoughts — how rare, how beautiful!

God, I'll never comprehend them! 

18 I couldn't even begin to count them — 

any more than I could count the sand of the sea.

Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! 

19 And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!

And you murderers — out of here! —  

20 all the men and women who belittle you, God,

infatuated with cheap god-imitations. 

21 See how I hate those who hate you, God,

see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; 

22 I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.

Your enemies are my enemies! 

23 Investigate my life, O God,

find out everything about me;

Cross-examine and test me,

get a clear picture of what I'm about; 

24 See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong — 

then guide me on the road to eternal life. 

(from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

Parenting Like A Jerk

I have a bad habit: I like to call my kids to me using my "angry voice" and watch them cautiously approach me with complete bewilderment on their faces since they're wondering "what did I do now?". As soon as I'm sure they're in complete suspense/agony, I happily tell them we're taking a drive to go get ice cream or some other spontaneous fun idea. For me, the surprise is even better because I get to watch their fear melt away as they realize I'm not mad, and even better, I'm giving them a gift!  As my kids have gotten older, they've become harder to trick since they're now up to speed with my sense of humor.

I'm a bit of a jerk...just for a minute until I reveal my true agenda ;)

Sometimes God gets the same bad rap: He's a bit of a jerk.  Sure, you get to go to Heaven...but here on Earth, you're in trouble! We can feel like God has a big paddle to smack us with as soon as we break some obscure Christian rule that only the church lady who plays the organ knows about.  Sometimes it seems that God is only happy with people who's lifestyle is a living monument to the 1900s: no fancy electronics, no stylish clothing, and no frivolous time-wasting entertainment!

As Americans, we may not recall everything in the Bible but we're crystal clear about all the DON'TS in there! Those don'ts are legendary; most of us are saddled with the vague internal fear that we're in deep do do for some don't we accidentally did. Take for instance the Garden of Eden--we probably all know how the serpent told Eve that God said DON'T eat the fruit. The serpent was familiar with the don'ts! But when we look in Genesis at what God actually said, we see that God told Adam to eat! Eat the fruit from any tree in the entire garden! But for your own safety, don't eat from this one tree. God roped off one tree in an entire garden full of fruit trees! God wasn't holding out, He was keeping Adam and Eve safe just like a parent would do: Kids, you can take a bubble bath but don't take the pills in the medicine cabinet...or Kids, you can eat anything in this pantry but don't eat the entire bag of dried apricots... Somehow we missed how God's always talking about what we CAN do with just a few warnings to keep us safe! There's a lot more that we CAN do than stuff that we CAN'T do! We feel the glare of the 10 commandments when God actually set us free from burdening rules and promised us exceedingly abundantly all that we could ask for or imagine, and loves us unconditionally! 

The serpent's the one who keeps reminding us of the fine-print. He's full of restrictions-may-apply and side-affects-may-cause-exploding-bowels kinda stuff. He's up on all the DON'TS! 

Sometimes I think we Christians sound more like the serpent: we're usually telling each other the DON'Ts!

But Jesus died a horrible,selfless, tortured death just to give us LIFE! Abundant life! Life to the fullest! A life we enjoy without the aide of Xanax! Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10  Abundant life? That sounds like a party to me! That sounds like sleeping through the night and waking up energized for my day so I can work and play and rest and thank God for the abundant life He provided for me! Abundant life sounds like no good thing withheld from me, a life I'm proud of, a life without regrets. And that's what Jesus gave us!

There's a lot of don'ts out there, but they're not part of the abundant life God designed for us! God's not a jerk! He gave you a permission slip to forget all the religious rules that inflict guilt and shame. He's the rule-breaker! Go live the abundant life that Jesus paid such a high price for you to have! (and go get yourself some ice cream--you've been a good kid!)

My Life: The Perfect Forest Fire

What if you knew you were right in the midst of God's perfect plan? Would that shock you? "How can this be", you ask, "my (heart, bank account, ambition, or car) is broke! So how am I in the midst of God's perfect plan?!"

We think of God's perfect plan as a wonderful path lined with gumdrops, puppies and sunshine...we think of smooth sailing without a cloud in sight...we think of a freshly paved road without any bumps or potholes and ALL our friends and family are smiling and cheering us on because it's evident that THIS is God's perfect plan!

But God does perfect different than that: God's perfect plan can have numerous twists and turns...but it always ends perfect.

So how do we know that God works this way? Besides the numerous life stories recorded in the Bible that worked out this way, God also shows us His nature IN NATURE!  

Take a look at forest fires. God is the One who devised forest fires to keep forests healthy! But when we hear about a forest fire, it's a breaking news bulletin! It's a catastrophe! We need to put it out before this devastating fire robs us of a national treasure! But God uses these fires to clear out crowded forests so each and every tree gets enough water, sunlight, and space. The forest can now grow stronger and healthier than the pre-fire forest could have ever dreamed of being. Sorry, Smokey! Sometimes we can’t prevent forest fires!

Our lives can look like that forest fire. It's painful! It's harsh! Maybe it's personally devastating and will take years to fully recover from. We don't understand why God would do such a terrible thing!

Then the news crews show up: suddenly people are watching. They're observing right along with us. And this "haphazard" following is all part of God's plan: God gave us a platform in the midst of our tragedy and we have an underdog story to tell! We're the new poster child of the long shot, the dark horse, the chance in hell. And everybody watches as God helps us rebuild. But this time we rebuild with perspective and purpose. We now know the difference between the meaningful and the frivolous. We recognize substance, we no longer confuse it for hollow fillers. And we are FULLY AWAKE to the fact that we couldn't have made it one step away from that forest fire without Jesus, who lit a new fire within us. 

"Light yourself on fire and the world will come to watch you burn." God's perfect plan will not only bring us from point A to point B, but He'll also use our journey to impact everyone who came to watch. God's perfect plan will be a blessing to more than just ourselves. He'll use our journey as inspiration for a song, a story, a business idea, a book, or even compassion for our fellow man that we wouldn't have had without our trek.

In the end, the forest fire did what God designed it to do: it brought the forest/our lives past simply surviving to thriving!  Now isn't that perfect?! 

Stop Shoulding On Yourself!

Let's all say this together: "I WILL NEVER "SHOULD'' ON ANYONE AGAIN!"

A basic definition for those of you who are unfamiliar with "should-ing": Telling someone, "You SHOULD change! You SHOULD try harder! You SHOULD, you SHOULD, you SHOULD..." Well, you get the idea.

I refuse to be a preacher who "shoulds" all over people. There are already enough "shoulds" in the world. You don't need this at church, too. Grace extends to everyone...

And while you are at it: STOP SHOULDING ON YOURSELF! That is just not helpful!

When you read a verse like this:

Matthew 22: 37-41 Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

Don't say to yourself: "I should love God more and my neighbor more!" Don't should on yourself! You know you are not living up to this law. You don't even like your neighbor, let alone love him!

Instead, read the scriptures in light of His grace!

1 John 4:19 We love Him because He first loved us. (NKJV)

We will only love Him to the extent that we understand His love for us.  So instead of focusing on your lack of love, focus on His love for you! Focus on the good things He has done lately in your life...And once you grasp His love for you, you'll naturally love others as naturally as you love yourself.

Grace doesn't stop at the point of your salvation. By grace you are saved. But also by grace you live! Jesus came so all our shoulding could stop! What great grace for ourselves and everyone we know!

Excerpt taken from the book Grace On Tap by Eric Dykstra http://amzn.com/B00EYMRYDQ

Get wrecked! Go buy it today!

Grace on Tap week 1 "Born again, again"

One of the reasons I was drawn to do a series from the book Grace On Tap was how similar Eric Dykstra's story of finding Grace was to my own. (The other reason is my huge respect and admiration for Eric who is my mentor and friend!)  It was incredible how Eric put words to my experience I had this past Spring--I was "born again" again! God's grace transformed my already transformed life. I don't' know how He did it, but God made my life brand new AGAIN just by opening up my eyes to what He had already laid out so clearly in the Bible, but somehow I'd missed it.  I'd like to share that excerpt from the book. (And if you just can't get enough, there's the link at the bottom to buy the book on Amazon.) Enjoy!  --Nate

Many people believe there are two "works of grace" in a person's life. One, when they "get saved". Two, when they are "baptized" in the Spirit and they speak in tongues or get fresh revelation of who God is. I don't know if that is true or not, But is is true for me. 

I have been "born again" twice.

I asked Jesus into my life at the age of seventeen. I was in New York state at a Bible camp. I got down on my knees at a campfire and asked Jesus Christ to forgive my sins and lead my life. And He did! He moved into my life, forgave me of my past, and began to transform me. My friends began asking me why I was so different. I even went off to a Bible college to enter a life of full-time ministry. I was a changed man.

But then a strange thing happened: My well-intentioned teachers, pastors, and churches taught me (unintentionally) that after you come to Jesus for forgiveness, you must prove you really love Jesus by being obedient to Him!

Or, said another way:

We get righteousness at the cross, but we stay righteous by working for it.

So, I began to work really hard at obeying Jesus. I read my Bible every day. I memorized Scripture. I prayed. I served in my church. I witnessed to my friends. I worked hard at fighting temptation. I tried to be a "man of holiness". I started a church. I preached the gospel. I led people to Jesus. I tithed. I gave sacrificially. I...

Do you see all the I's in that paragraph? I was trying to achieve my own righteousness. I was going to be a sold-out Christian. Except it never worked, and I always felt like a failure. No matter how much I did, I felt like it was never enough. I never served enough, never gave enough, preached enough, loved enough, or prayed enough. I never felt righteous, no matter how hard I tried. And the more I went to church or read the Bible, the more I just felt like a failure, because I could never live up to the standard of perfection in the Bible.

That is, until Jesus met me with a second work of grace. One day while on a vacation from ministry, I stumbled across 2 Corinthians 5:21.

The more I read this verse and studied it's implications, the more it messed me up. The more it messed me up, the more I would cry and shake and tremble before God. I spent an entire month immersed in the study of this verse. At the end of one month, I was a totally different human being. I knew I measured up. I knew I wasn't a failure. I knew I was strong enough. Had faith enough. I was a totally different person. Jesus had met me; He had done a second work of grace in me. My church said I was different. My staff said I was different. My wife and kids said I was different.

The grace of God had hit me, and I was born again. Again.

Here is the verse that messed me up forever:

2 Corinthians 5:21  God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Read more in the book Grace On Tap by Eric Dykstra http://amzn.com/B00EYMRYDQ

A love that don't Quit!

My son was talking to me the other day about cartoons on and on and on, bla, bla, bla... He was very excited--I have to admit: I wasn't.  I tried my best to seem interested but I found myself losing focus, my mind wandering to my work--which he had interrupted me from--and then I was snapped back to reality when I realized my child's excitement had now changed to embarrassment...disappointment... and he was walking away because he realized I wasn't listening.

In fact, I can remember when I realized my parents did this to me. They tried very hard to mask their indifference at times, just as I occasionally have to try to mask mine, but there's a time in the day when the grown-ups are apparently too exhausted to fake it 'til you make it and the observant eye of a kid is no longer fooled.  I apologized to my son, he means the world to me! But I'm not perfect and I mess up sometimes!

Did your parents (no matter how well-meaning) ever do that to you? Or did your friends, your role-model, your coach...ever make you feel unimportant?  

Did God ever make you feel unimportant?

I know, I know: God loves me...but let's be honest, did you ever think: my life isn't turning out like I thought it would...God, don't you love me? My finances are struggling...God, don't you love me? Why isn't this decision working out...God, don't you love me?

Life happens...and sometimes we feel ignored, looked over, unimportant, but the truth is that God's love is UNCONDITIONAL! Most of us can't even fathom a love that's unconditional! When something bad happens, God's unconditional love promises He'll never leave! God's unconditional love ensures that He's going to use everything in this life, good or bad, to make us stronger!  God uses what was meant to harm us to catapult us further into the good plans he has for us.  It's like a bow and arrow: the arrow has to be drawn back before it flies forward! Maybe something happened in life to set you back, but God's unconditional love is using that to set you up for victory!

Our parents, friends, role-models all did their best, but they're not perfect. They didn't mean to, but sometimes they messed up. God isn't human, He's perfect, and He always loves you and He's always with you! He always works everything out for your good! He wants to heal every hurt, astronomical or ridiculously small, with His unconditional love!

"Just as I swore in the time of Noah that I would never again let a flood cover the earth, so now I swear that I will never again be angry and punish you.  For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain.  My covenant of blessing will never be broken,“ says the Lord , who has mercy on you. --Isaiah 54:9-10

Don't Judge others, Just because you sin differently!

Don't judge me! That statement, while playful and funny, gets me internally on edge when I stop and think about it.  As a Christian, I've been intimately involved with judgement and it's not good on the passing or receiving end! It's the least Christ-like part of my attempt at being Christ-like. I'm sure our highly opinionated viewpoints are the root of the saying "I'd be a Christian if it weren't for...Christians"!

My fellow Christians and I have turned a relationship with Jesus into a list of do's and don'ts. We accept and reject people depending on their adherence to these rules, and all the different groups of Christians have a different set of rules! However, the Bible has it's own rule about this: "judge not lest ye be judged" (that's right: I'm bustin out the King James!) but we don't call it judgement, we call its accountability. And this "accountability" runs rampant. Here's how it works: I get to tell anyone, anywhere, on any occasion that "you're doing it wrong".  Mmmm, warm fuzzies! But let's admit it: we usually don't even have the guts to say it, we just give anyone with a differing opinion the ole stink-eye (cuz that's what Jesus would do?).

I don't think that's accountability. Accountability comes from someone who believes in you and wants to see you succeed, someone who's actually qualified to speak direction and wisdom into your life, not someone who just wants to point out your flaws. What we Christians are doing is just plain judgement! And here's the kicker: it's quite often based on opinions! We usually can't even back up our "accountability" with scripture!  We criticize people just because they're not doing it our way!

God gave Christians the joy of telling the world what He's doing--instead we're busy telling each other what we should or shouldn't be doing!

Dear friends, if you've been harshly judged (or even worse, wrongly judged) please know this isn't how God works! On behalf of myself and my fellow Christians, I apologize! I apologize for misrepresenting the God of the Universe who so freely loves and adores you, even your flaws!  His acceptance never ended when you made certain decisions!  His willingness to help didn't stop just because you did something that raised eyebrows! He doesn't squash big thinking or shut down big dreams--God isn't jealous of your potential: He put it in you! God's judgement actually doesn't even happen until the end of your life, He designed your life to be a work in progress! God doesn't judge the outward He judges the heart! And unlike humans, God's judgement is perfect: He takes your circumstances, strengths, weaknesses, knowledge...everything...into consideration!  Not one of us can do that!  

Now shake off the critical voice that judgement installed inside your head. Let go of the critique of yourself and go back to seeing the potential God put in you. Forgive those who judged you since they have surely felt the sting of judgement as well. Resist the urge to judge them right back and instead see the favor that God has already given you and live your life expecting everything good God has planned for you! And remember: you are responsible for your own happiness...you are only responsible for you!

James 5:7-9 You see farmers do this all the time, waiting for their valuable crops to mature, patiently letting the rain do its slow but sure work. 8 Be patient like that. Stay steady and strong. The Master could arrive at any time. 9 Friends, don't complain about each other. A far greater complaint could be lodged against you, you know. The Judge is standing just around the corner.